Gilbert Thurston

Random Thoughts About Life, Ministry and Whatever Else Happens to be on my Mind

  • About
  • About

Becoming Friends with Me

February 22, 2008 by Gilbert 1 Comment

One of my favorite pastors, Craig Groeschel, did a couple of blog posts this week on becoming friends with your pastor.  I liked some of his points, others I didn’t, so I thought I’d adapt it, add some of my own  and hopefully by the end you’ll have a better idea of how we can become friends:

  1. Not everyone can be best friends with the pastor…just like you my time is limited…I can’t have 600 best friends.  However, that doens’t mean I don’t want to get to know you better.  If that leads into a deeper friendship great, if not great again…there’s a lot of other people out there that make a much better friend than me anyway…just ask my friends…they’ll confirm that for you.   🙂
  2. Don’t be pushy.  That comes across as needy and needy people are what we have to deal with on an almost daily basis. 
  3. Be real.  Too many times people put on a mask around the pastor trying to be someone they’re not.  As Craig put it, “We’d rather see the dark side of you than a fake spiritual side.”  I try from the stage each week to give you a glimpse into the real Gilbert, in return let me see the real you and together we can grow to become more like Christ.
  4. Allow me to be me.  So many people put unrealistic expectations on the pastor forgetting that he’s human just like they are.  I will make mistakes…I will mess up…I will hurt you at some point…not intentionally, not because I don’t love Jesus, not because I’m out to ruin your life, but because I’m just as human as you are.  Please extend to me the same grace that I will in turn extend to you.  My 5 best friends on this planet all allow me to be Gilbert, not Pastor Gilbert.  It’s great to know that some people love me warts and all and will be with and for me no matter what.
  5. Speaking of unrealistic expectations…I can’t say yes to everything.  I’m learning this the hard way…the bigger we become and the more influential I become, the more the invitations roll in for all kinds of opportunities for dinners, parties, speaking engagements, etc.  The problem is if I say yes to everything, then that means I’m saying no to something else…unfortunately that may mean time with Lisa or spending time in the areas that I’m truly gifted.  So if I say no to your request to come to your Great Aunt Ruth’s, 40th anniversary of the the time she was employee of the month at the local bank, it doens’t mean I don’t like you…it just means I don’t have time for everything and I hope you’ll understand.
  6. Like you I have a life outside the church, so it’s Ok to talk with me about just normal stuff like, sports and hobbies and TV shows, etc.
  7. Less than 10% of people who are ever in full-time ministry as a pastor will retire from the ministry.  Not trying to make pastoring sound like the most dangerous job in the world but in some ways it is.  The stress levels are extremely high when you consider that we are like the generals leading the troops out into war against the devil and all of the negatives that he brings into this world.  Add on top of that the long, unpredictable hours, the many times unrealistic expectations that church members have of the pastor and church and you’ve got a recipe for burn-out.  So with all that being said the greatest way to be my friend is to let me know that you pray for me.  I’m not just talking an “Oh yeah God and bless Gilbert also” type of prayer…I mean seriously praying that God would lead, guide and protect me as a follower of Christ first, as a husband second and then as a pastor of His church.
  8. One last thing…my love and friendship can be bought. 🙂  Seriously you don’t know how much it means to get cards, letter’s, e-mails, gift cards, etc. letting me know that you’re life has changed in a small or big way because of my influence, example or teaching.  Again ministry can be hard and sometimes I think “Is it all worth it?”  Then I get a reminder from someone that yes indeed my time and sacrifice are not in vain and that helps carry me on sometimes for weeks or months at a time. 

To those that are already close friends…thank you…I love you all.

To everyone else, I look forward to on varying degrees getting to know you better in the coming months and years!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Comments

  1. Lawrence N Melissa Evans says

    October 2, 2011 at 5:50 am

    Wow… I love when that happens (finding something while “looking for something else”)… and I love that about YOU: your consistent pursuit of authentic transparency. I once put a past Pastor on a pedestal because he was the closest representation to Jesus Christ I’d ever seen… to me he was so perfect I couldn’t see how he could even sing Amazing Grace’s “saved a wretch like me”. I mean, I WAS a wretch (and still am)… but HIM… he was perfect. I don’t regret that I did that because I needed that for then. But for now I need more people like you Pastor Gilbert.

    WITHOUT QUESTION, YOU HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD. My prayers for you will now be even more fervent. Thanks for sharing those 8 points; they drew me closer to you. I CAN’T WAIT to see what God’s going to KEEP DOING through you! 🙂

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent Posts

  • Things I’m Thankful For (2018 Edition)
  • Things I’m Thankful For (2017 edition)
  • Annual Things I’m Thankful For (2016 Edition)
  • The Power of Mini Habits
  • Annual Things I’m Thankful For (2015 Edition)

Archives

  • November 2018
  • November 2017
  • November 2016
  • January 2016
  • November 2015
  • November 2014
  • August 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • July 2013
  • November 2012
  • July 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010
  • August 2010
  • July 2010
  • June 2010
  • May 2010
  • April 2010
  • March 2010
  • February 2010
  • January 2010
  • December 2009
  • November 2009
  • October 2009
  • September 2009
  • August 2009
  • July 2009
  • June 2009
  • May 2009
  • April 2009
  • March 2009
  • February 2009
  • January 2009
  • December 2008
  • November 2008
  • October 2008
  • September 2008
  • August 2008
  • July 2008
  • June 2008
  • May 2008
  • April 2008
  • March 2008
  • February 2008
  • January 2008
  • December 2007
  • November 2007
  • October 2007
  • About

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2023 · Genesis Sample on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in